Funny Surveys and Studies
Here are some funny stories related to surveys and humorous research studies:
“A new study by the American Medical Association shows that having sex does not trigger a heart attack — it’s getting caught having sex that triggers the heart attack.”
“A new study shows that three quarters of all Americans are overweight. In fact it’s so bad, three quarters of all Americans are now 9/10ths of all Americans.”
“New statistics show that last year the number of murders in the U.S. fell by 8 percent. Unfortunately, that may not be accurate since the number of pollsters murdered went up by 25 percent.”
“A new study reveals U.S. students have very little knowledge of American history. In fact, test scores are the lowest since the Lincoln-Nixon debates.”
“In a new survey, 50 percent of teachers said today’s biggest problem is that students get incorrect information from outdated textbooks. The other 50 percent said they’re not aware of a problem, but they’re sure the Nixon administration will resolve it.”
“Seventy percent of school principals think uniforms would cut down on violence. After all, look what they’ve done for the post office.”
“The Iowa Caucus is next week and 26 percent of the voters are undecided. Not about the candidates, about living in Iowa.”
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