Funny Stories About Politicians
Here are some funny stories about politicians:”In last night’s Republican debate, Lamar Alexander accused Bob Dole of lacking vision. Dole said, ‘When I find out who said that he’s in big trouble.’”
“93-year-old Senator Strom Thurmond said that he’s still mentally sharp and he’s running for re-election. Isn’t that nice. He also said that President Lincoln is doing a terrific job.”
“According to Nature magazine, scientists have discovered a powerful appetite suppressor. It’s actually a naked picture of Newt Gingrich.”
“In a recent interview, 93-year-old Senator Strom Thurmond says he does 50 minutes of exercise every morning. Actually, it’s what other people call getting out of bed.”
“Over the weekend, Dan Quayle said that when he’s a little older he may run for President. He said, `Either that, or become a cowboy.’”
“Because their population has leveled off, the President of France is urging French women to have more babies. In a related story, tourism in France is up 800 percent.”
“In an upcoming TV movie, President Clinton is going to play the part of the President of the United States — only because they couldn’t get Colin Powell.”
“Bob Dole announced that he is going to pick a running mate who’s younger than he is and that he hasn’t ruled anybody out. Isn’t that kind of redundant?”
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“Last week a dermatologist was called in to look at blotches on President Clinton’s face. It turns out the blotches were just McDonalds special sauce.”
“Lamar Alexander said he’ll quit the race if he doesn’t beat Bob Dole in the Florida primary. Which will be tough, because polls show that most people in Florida think Dole is a `good kid.’”
“Today, 93-year-old Senator Strom Thurmond received a standing ovation for becoming the oldest congressman ever. Unfortunately, during the ovation he changed into his pajamas and wandered off into the highway.”
“The Fox network announced they’re going to be offering the
presidential candidates an hour of free air time. They’re going
to call it `America’s Least Wanted.’”
“To protest the treatment he’s received, Republican candidate Alan Keyes is going on a hunger strike. After hearing this, President Clinton said, `The Republicans and I are further apart than I thought.’”
“In a recent interview, Sonny Bono said 93-year-old Senator Strom Thurman should retire because quote, `He’s run out of gas.’ In response Thurman said, `Hey, the one thing I haven’t run out of is gas.’”
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