(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5)

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Maine — Most of our lobsters kill themselves out of boredom.
Nevada — What happens in Vegas will emerge as a rash on your crotch once a month.
Nebraska — Celebrating nothing to do for over 100 years!
New Jersey — #1 in chemical refineries!
Washington — Shh! Bush thinks he lives here.
Oregon — Come for the pot, stay for the.. whatever.
Kentucky — “Jeopardy” winner free since 1865.
Alabama — Come hear the sounds Earl can make with his armpit.
Alaska — If Al Gore is right, we’ll be the only state with comfortable weather.
Iowa — We’re too fat to fit on one quarter.
Kansas – As seen in the boring parts of the Wizard of Oz.
Florida — Where even the babies are old.
Vermont — Pete Sampras once thought about visiting here.
Ohio — Now a fully own subsidiary of Walmart!
West Virgina — Not just coal mining, but also.. ok, just coal mining.
Rhode Island — Where David Spade comes to feel big.

(Credits: Conan O’ Brien and others.)

• Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
• Girl, are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
• Is your dad a terrorist?  Cause you’re the Bomb!
• I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house?
• I lost my phone number.  Can I have yours?
• Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.
• (Take a look at the tag on her jacket)  Yep, that’s what I thought.  Made in Heaven.
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
• Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have lost myself in your eyes.

(8 votes, average: 4 out of 5)

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We often stereotype others and it is often frowned upon but this license plate just gives us another reason to believe.  This picture speaks for itself; I wonder if she ever found out?

(10 votes, average: 3.3 out of 5)

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“As you gain experience, you’ll realise that all logical questions are considered insubordination.” – Dilbert advises Asok the Intern

“There are two essential rules to management. One, the customer is always right; and two, they must be punished for their arrogance.” – Dilbert

“Frankly I’m insulted that you asked me out. It means you think we’re about the same level of attractiveness.” – Dilbert’s date

“It looks like I’ll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year.” – Dilbert

“Why aren’t you signed up for the 401K? I’d never be able to run that far.” – Dilbert

“When you grow up you’ll be put in a container called a cubicle. The bleak oppressiveness will warp your spine and destroy your capacity to feel joy. Luckily you’ll have a boss like me to motivate you with something called fear.” – Dilbert

(5 votes, average: 3.4 out of 5)

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