“A man, a plan, a canal: Panama.”
“Aid nine men, India.”
“Anne, I vote no one to Vienna.”
“A Toyota: race fast, safe car: a Toyota.”
“Boston did not sob.”
“Cain: a maniac.”
“Campus motto: ‘Bottoms up, Mac.’”
“Can I attain a ‘C’?”
“Dennis sinned.”
“Dentist: ‘Sit, Ned.’”
“Desserts, I stressed!”
“Did Joe kill like O.J. did?”
“Do geese see God?”
“Go deliver a dare, vile dog!”
“Go hang a salami! I’m a lasagna hog!”

“He won a Toyota now, eh?”
“I saw desserts; I’d no lemons, alas no melon. Distressed was I.”
“I was sad – no Hondas saw I.”
“Live not on evil, madam, live not on evil.”
“Murder for a jar of red rum.”
“Ned, I am a maiden.”
“Never odd or even.”
“No miss, it is Simon.”
“Now, sir, a war is won.”
“Put Eliot’s toilet up.”
“Race carrot or race car?”
“Senile felines.”
“Sit on a potato pan, Otis.”
“Slap my gym pals.”
“Star comedy by Democrats.”
“Tennis tips: saliva. Vilas spits in net.”
“Too bad, I hid a boot.”
“We nap anew.”
“Wonton on salad? Alas, no, not now!”
“Yo! Banana boy!”

“Today, Disney announced that they’re buying the California Angels. They also plan to change the team name. The new name will be the `Disney Owns Everything Angels.’”
 
“Erik Menendez is claiming his original lawyer Robert Shapiro gave him bad advice. Apparently, Shapiro forgot to tell him to win the Heisman trophy.”
 
“A player from the New York Knicks was arrested last night after punching a police officer. The Knicks aren’t worried though, because the cop missed both free throws.”
 
“Here’s a strange story. In Denmark a kitten has been born with fluorescent hair. Apparently, Dennis Rodman really does get around.”
 
“The big rumor right now is that NBC is going to cancel the XFL as soon as the season is over. You laugh and stuff but this news comes as a blow to XFL fans, both of whom are very upset.”

“As you gain experience, you’ll realise that all logical questions are considered insubordination.” – Dilbert advises Asok the Intern

“There are two essential rules to management. One, the customer is always right; and two, they must be punished for their arrogance.” – Dilbert

“Frankly I’m insulted that you asked me out. It means you think we’re about the same level of attractiveness.” – Dilbert’s date

“It looks like I’ll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year.” – Dilbert

“Why aren’t you signed up for the 401K? I’d never be able to run that far.” – Dilbert

“When you grow up you’ll be put in a container called a cubicle. The bleak oppressiveness will warp your spine and destroy your capacity to feel joy. Luckily you’ll have a boss like me to motivate you with something called fear.” – Dilbert

(5 votes, average: 3.4 out of 5)

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