Maine — Most of our lobsters kill themselves out of boredom.
Nevada — What happens in Vegas will emerge as a rash on your crotch once a month.
Nebraska — Celebrating nothing to do for over 100 years!
New Jersey — #1 in chemical refineries!
Washington — Shh! Bush thinks he lives here.
Oregon — Come for the pot, stay for the.. whatever.
Kentucky — “Jeopardy” winner free since 1865.
Alabama — Come hear the sounds Earl can make with his armpit.
Alaska — If Al Gore is right, we’ll be the only state with comfortable weather.
Iowa — We’re too fat to fit on one quarter.
Kansas – As seen in the boring parts of the Wizard of Oz.
Florida — Where even the babies are old.
Vermont — Pete Sampras once thought about visiting here.
Ohio — Now a fully own subsidiary of Walmart!
West Virgina — Not just coal mining, but also.. ok, just coal mining.
Rhode Island — Where David Spade comes to feel big.

(Credits: Conan O’ Brien and others.)

“After hearing the president’s speech, Democrats in the Senate are seeking bipartisan support for a non-binding resolution opposing President Bush’s deployment of his military escalation. In response, President Bush said, ‘Huh?’” – Conan O’Brien

“In a prime time speech last night, President Bush said that he was sending in 20,000 more troops to end the war. He wasn’t talking about Iraq. He was talking about the war between Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump.” -Conan O’Brien

(12 votes, average: 3.5 out of 5)

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